Candy Clough
Dear Douglas--I attended your presentation of "The American Soldier" last week at Buena Vista University and found it to be a very moving and excellent depiction of the lives of our soldiers. Thank you!
I am not a veteran, but I do have a story to tell about the profound impact the Viet Nam war had on my life and my husband's. In 1969, my 21-year-old boyfriend returned from a year in Viet Nam. I was a 19-year-old college student. From the day he returned, we were together for 40 years, 34 of those as man and wife.
Upon his return, he was dropped back into "the world" and expected to resume his life as if nothing had ever happened to him. He had no contact with other soldiers, nor was there any follow-up from the army after his return. Friends felt awkward around him--not knowing what to say. Strangers often scorned him. The result was that he put those horrid memories in a box somewhere near his heart and locked the lid.
In all the years we were together, he never spoke once about his experiences over there. Life went on. We had 2 kids, bought a house, and he ran our family business. But he was never okay. We had never heard the term "PTSD" but I know now that he suffered unmercifully from it his entire life. Ten years ago, after several difficult life experiences, he began to unravel, and our marriage fell apart. I encouraged him to talk to a V.A. counselor, but after 2 sessions, he said he could not continue. Instead, he chose to leave our family and the life we had created together. I think he thought a new start might calm his tortured spirit. It only hurt those who love him the most. I feel like he was mortally wounded in Viet Nam and has been forced to live in pain for the rest of his life.
When I look at all the mistakes made during the Viet Nam War and how returning soldiers were treated, I understand more fully the suffering of our generation of soldiers. I do believe we have learned from the mistakes of that time though. When I see the help offered to the young returning warriors from Iraq and Afghanistan, I know there is hope.
Everytime I hear someone utter "thank you for your service", I know we have taught the next generation the power of being grateful to those who risk their lives for our freedom. Now, if we could only figure out a way to settle conflict without war.
Thanks your for the play and please continued the good work! And thank you for the hug, it was lovely!
Warmly,
Candy Clough
