FAKING A SMILE

YOU ASK HOW I'M DOING
I SMILE AND SAY
I'M HERE AND ALIVE
TO SEE ANOTHER DAY 

FAKING A SMILE
IS WHAT I DO BEST
I HIDE THE PAIN
BURIED DEEP IN MY CHEST 

FAKING A SMILE 
SO YOU CANNOT SEE
ALL OF MY HURT
AND MY MISERY 

BUT ALL THE WHILE
I'M DYING INSIDE 
LIVING EACH DAY
WHILE LIVING A LIE 

LYING TO MYSELF
AND WANTING TO BELIEVE
THINGS WILL GET BETTER
IS HARD TO CONCEIVE 

IN MY MIND
THERE IS NO SALVATION
ALL I CAN SEE
IS MY OWN DAMNATION 

I CANNOT BE SAVED
ITS TO LATE FOR ME
MY ONLY OPTION IS
TO MAKE BELIEVE 

TO TRY AND PRETEND
SO I CAN FIT IN
HIDING MY TRUTH
UNTIL THE BITTER END 

I CANNOT TELL YOU
HOW I REALLY FEEL
MY BEST OPTION IS
COVER AND COCEAL 

SO I FAKE A SMILE
TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
MAKING YOU BELIEVE
THAT I'VE GOT IT TOGETHER 

WHEN ALL THE WHILE
ALL I CAN THINK
IF I COULD JUST END IT...
I'M ON THE BRINK 

ON THE BRINK
OF DOING SOMETHING FOOLISH
ALL THE WHILE
YOU ALL ARE CLUELESS 

BUT HOW CAN YOU HELP
IF I WON'T LET YOU IN
I DO NOT WANT THIS 
TO BE THE END 

BUT THERE'S TOO MUCH HURT
AND TOO MUCH PAIN
TOO MUCH FOR ME
TO TAKE IT ALL IN 

FAKING A SMILE
HIDING MY TEARS
SCREAMING IN SILENCE
SO NO ONE HEARS 

MY CRIES OF ANGUISH
AND NO ONE SEES
WHAT HAS BECOME
MY REALITY 

I FAKE THE SMILES
I FAKE THE LAUGHTER
I FAKE IT ALL 
I AM MASTER 

A MASTER OF DECEPTION 
WHILE ALL THE WHILE
I'VE MANAGED TO FOOL YOU
BY FAKING A SMILE.... 

BY DIANA VASQUEZ , SGT US ARMY 

REFLECTION

I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND ALL I SEE
IS THE SHELL OF THE PERSON
I USED TO BE

I LOOK THE SAME
FROM THE OUTSIDE
BUT ALL THE WHILE
I AM BROKEN INSIDE


I WANT TO SCREAM
I WANT TO SHOUT
ALL I WANT
IS A WAY OUT

OUT OF THE HELL
I'VE CREATED MYSELF
I SEE MY REFLECTION
AND SEE SOMEONE ELSE

I AM NO LONGER THE PERSON
I WAS BEFORE
IN MY MIND
I AM STILL AT WAR

AT WAR WITH THE ENEMY
THAT LURKS FROM WITHIN
I KNOW THIS IS A BATTLE
I CANNOT WIN

I AM TORN INSIDE
I AM NO LONGER WHOLE
A PART OF ME DIED
IN THAT HELL HOLE

FROM A DISTANT PAST
THAT STILL ECHOES WITH IN ME
AND HAS ME TWISTED INSIDE
SO I CANNOT SEE

THE REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR
IS STILL REALLY ME
JUST NOT THE VERSION
I USED TO BE

I WISH THINGS WERE DIFFERENT
I WISH I COULD GO BACK
TO THE TIMES BEFORE
I WOULD TAKE IT ALL BACK

I GLADLY TRADE PLACES
WITH YOU IF I COULD
IF THINGS WERE DIFFERENT
I SURELY WOULD

THEN YOU'D STILL BE HERE
TO LIVE OUT YOUR LIFE
AND I WOULDN'T FEEL
LIKE I'VE BEEN CUT WITH KNIFE

THAT'S RIPPED OUT MY HEART
AS I WATCHED YOU DIE
AND ALL THE WHILE
I CAN'T EVEN CRY

IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T CARE
I HAVE NOTHING LEFT INSIDE
THERE IS NOTHING THERE

THEN I SEE THE REFLECTION
LOOKING BACK AT ME
I AM JUST A SHELL OF THE PERSON
THAT I USED TO BE

BY DIANA VASQUEZ , SGT US ARMY